I find myself in an interesting predicament of late. I'm debating doing something irresponsible.
I'm one of those rare creatures of woman who don't relationship chase. In fact, I'm happier out of one. I don't like the whole complicated mess a relationship always ends up. I don't like the tug and pull it puts on raising my son and I don't like feeling yanked in a million directions. I generally avoid them. In fact, Nate will be 7 this month and I've been in 4 relationships, including his father, his whole life. Yes, you read that right.
Now, I don't do sex for sex sake either. So I haven't just been sleeping with folks either.
Here's my conundrum.
I want this man. Never been in this predicament. I mean, sure I've been attracted to people. Duh. Dated people and felt desire and decided against sleeping with them. Dated people and decided they were good relationship people and made myself want them. What? Some of you KNOW what I'm saying so don't go there with me. I know it wasn't the best move, but hey. Shut up. Live and learn.
I'm about to be 27. Should I say to hell with it and give in to physicality? I mean, wow. Chemistry.
He makes me blush. At 26 and 3/4 years old. I mean, really? Not slept around does not mean innocent, honey. But I BLUSH, deep red, and for no apparent reason. Well, obviously the reason is the sensations coursing through me (and possibly thoughts bouncing in my cranium). :p
My thing is, lately, I've decided that I'm getting too old to keep pushing people away. And if I'm focused on this one person and this one aspect, then I'm not going to be seeing who is out there with more to offer than that. I want great sex, obviously, if you're going to do something, do it well. But I want the more in a relationship that I've had before without the cheating that ruined it. (his part, not mine).
Gah. I think I'm just going to avoid him, and forget the chemistry. *nods* Healthier that way.....powerful chemistry has been painful for me in the past anyway.
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